


Damages

by simonsaysyes



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Beginning of comfort, College, Emotional Baggage, Established Relationship, Heartbreak, Hurt, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-11-28 15:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonsaysyes/pseuds/simonsaysyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If only they had taken the time to talk things through</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Derek

Their first time had been so needy. Derek’s name was the only word coming out of Stiles’ mouth. It was one of those cliché “getting lost in each other” moments. In the end, when Derek had made sure Stiles smelled like him, the younger man had only half grunted a protest, either still too lost to really care or because he actually understood that this was something Derek had to do.

 

Derek had felt relaxed- maybe a bit too much- because while holding his lover close to his body he had told him that he loved him. The words had come out without his permission. Words he had never thought he would ever believe in again. Words that all of a sudden felt right again. 

 

In that moment Derek decided that it was ok to move on. That he could do this, he could be with Stiles because Stiles was exactly what Derek needed. It wasn’t just what his wolf wanted. Derek felt it everywhere. The need to love and be loved by this man. The need to give himself up to him.

 

And so he did.

 

When Stiles started showing up smelling a little too much like soap, Derek didn’t give it much thought. Maybe if he had he would have seen the signs. Would have wondered why Stiles stopped replying to his texts instantly. Would have asked why Stiles was so busy all of a sudden. He wouldn’t have ignored the strange shaped bruise that appeared on Stiles’ neck.

 

Or maybe he did notice. Maybe he had known right when it started happening that everything was coming apart. He just didn’t want to believe it. If he ignored it, it might just go away and they could simply go back to being the way they were.

 

“Wanna come over tonight?”

 

“Can’t Der, study group for anthro”

 

They probably needed to talk but Derek knew if they did then that would be it. Stiles would admit that there was indeed someone else and Derek would have to face the fact that his heart was being ripped out and shattered.

 

Why had he fallen for him in the first place! Human attachments had never worked out before; he should have known.  It was his own fault that he was in this situation. Screw this. He didn’t need this. He didn’t need Stiles. Stiles clearly didn’t need him so why should he stay! His pack was scattered across a few states for college. He had no obligation to anyone to remain in California. 

 

He chucked his cell away, threw out his laptop. Werewolves didn’t need laptops. Laptops are stupid. If anyone from his so-called pack would actually be looking for him then they would just have to work with their abilities to find him. Stiles however would not be able to find him. Or contact him. Or pretend to care or be sorry or whatever it is that pitiful humans do to make themselves feel better after hurting someone. 

 

Acting on anger, Derek ran. He let it consume him and mask the pain. He left everything behind without warning and just ran. He didn’t stop, didn’t look back. 


	2. Stiles

Stiles swears his brain short circuited during their first time, which had been his first time ever. Stiles was sure sex with anyone else would be nothing compared to this. All he wanted was Derek. He didn’t need or want anyone else. Derek had become his everything. That was it.

 

To say that he was ecstatic when Derek told him he would move near Berkeley to be with him would be an understatement. Nothing could be more perfect.

 

That’s when life sort of took over. Why were there so many essays to write and so many never-ending chapters to read? And who the hell decided that everything needed to cost so much money! Derek always seemed to take such good care of himself that Stiles was ashamed at having to buy the cheapest soap and do laundry only when absolutely necessary. Those machines took a lot of coins! He was hoping taking showers before seeing Derek would cover up the smell of stale clothes although he really wasn’t sure bad soap was any better.

 

But Derek hadn’t said anything, had kept his features as normal as they were and hadn’t shown any signs of discomfort towards Stiles’ economical maintenance. Everything was all right even if they were seeing each other less because he had far too much homework and he really wanted to get good grades.

 

He felt bad for the amount of texts he missed due to falling asleep at the library but Derek was always there when Stiles needed him. They loved each other more than anything. They would survive four years of this madness. Anyways, Stiles figured he would eventually get the hang of it all and it would require less focus. Hey, a guy could hope!

 

Except one day Stiles went over to Derek’s. His anthro midterm was finally over and he just wanted to feel Derek’s skin and forget college for a few hours. He knocked on his door and waited. Knocked again. As much as he loved Derek he knew the guy didn’t have much of a social life so he was usually home, which was quite convenient. Stiles could drop by unannounced whenever he wanted and Derek never told him off for it.

 

Ok, maybe Derek was out for food or something. He used his copy of the key to get in. Sent Derek a text. Made himself at home. Waited.

 

A couple of hours later, he woke up from his unplanned nap. Still no Derek.

 

He texted Derek again, chalked it up to werewolf business and went back to his dorm room.

 

Derek had insisted he live in dorms for the first year, something about it being a life experience. They could live together during his second year but he had told Stiles that it would be good for him to get the full university experience.

 

Text to Derek: Hey shnookums ;) where r u! I wanna hang out before the next midterm takes over my life

 

The next day Stiles was a little annoyed at Derek’s lack of response. He texted him between courses…and once during a lecture containing 300 students since he was sure the prof couldn’t see him.

 

Still nothing.

 

A couple more days passed , which caused Stiles to become rather worried. He contacted the pack but no one had heard from Derek. Scott tried to calm him down but Stiles wasn’t hearing any of it. Why would Derek just up and leave him like this? Couldn’t he have at least written a note? Stiles knew that he hadn’t been the greatest boyfriend lately but he had been really busy. Derek could have said something! Stiles could have come over and just done homework spread out in Derek’s living room. Oh god, why hadn’t he done that?!?

 

He knew Derek had some trust issues. He had just thought that they were over that. Ever since their first time, Stiles had felt like Derek had let go of whatever had been holding him back. He felt like Derek trusted him.

 

Had he taken Derek for granted?

 

Maybe he was overreacting.

 

A week passed by. Maybe he wasn’t overreacting…

 

February 16th  - Text to Derek: u cant just disappear on me like that! Where r u?

 

February 16th  - Text to Derek: come home please

 

February 17th \- Text to Derek: can u at least tell me ur alive?

 

February 18th  - Email to Derek: Hey I’ve been texting you but you’re not responding! Where are you? I’m worried Derek, I love you.

 

February 18th \- Email to Derek: I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. We can fix this.

 

February 18th \- Text to Derek: where r u?

 

February 19th \- Text to Derek: I love you

 

February 20th \- Email to Derek: Ok, I just realised I’m jumping to conclusions here, maybe you didn’t leave me, maybe there was a werewolf emergency? Lets just ignore my texts and emails and have you come back in one piece with that unimpressed look on your face and tell me I’m an idiot.

 

February 21th \- Text to Derek: Do u just need time?

 

February 21th \- Email to Derek: It’s ok if you need space, just let me know. I’ll be here waiting for you ok

 

February 22nd \- Text to Derek: r u ok?

 

February 25th \- Text to Derek: tell me wat I did wrong

 

February 26th \- Text to Derek: I love you

 

February 29th \- Email to Derek: Please Derek I need to know you’re ok

 

March 1st \- Email to Derek: My texts aren’t going through anymore. The pack is also worried about you. You’re not responding to anyone.

 

March 3rd \- Email to Derek: Derek I miss you and I love you and nothing will ever change that. No one will ever be able to replace you. I don’t want anyone else I just want you. I need you.

 

March 7th \- Email to Derek: If you ever decide to come back I’ll be here. I miss you. If you don’t want to come back can you tell me? Or if you don’t want to talk to me ever again can you at least tell a member of the pack that you’re alive. I love you

 

Stiles waited. Forced himself to keep going to class. Keep busy. Just keep busy.  


	3. Eventually

**3 months later**

 

Derek had stopped running. Found himself a nice little abandoned cabin in the woods, somewhere in Vermont.

He allowed himself to think of his pack. Only his pack. Never Stiles. 

He decided to go and find a library. He needed to use their computers to check in with the betas. They were his responsibility after all. He couldn’t ignore them forever.

 

 

**3 months and 4 days later**

 

Derek stood there facing the door for far too long. He was waiting for…he didn’t even know what he was waiting for. This was ridiculous. He was an alpha – it was a door! Just knock. Come on. Knock.

  

___

 

 

Stiles was at his computer typing away an essay when there was a knock at the door. “One second Scott” he yelled out. He finished writing up his thought and went to let his friend in. When he finally opened the door, he almost had a heart attack.

 

Standing there, staring intently at the floor was none other than Derek.

 

Derek fucking Hale.

 

Derek fucking Hale who had left him. Without a word. For months.

 

Stiles blinked. Derek continued looking at the ground. He had never appeared so deflated.

 

The Stiles to Derek – Derek to floor staring contest continued and only stopped when Scott appeared behind Derek and let out a not so silent “What the hell!”

 

Derek looked back at Scott.

 

Derek’s ability to look at Scott and not Stiles only added to the massive pile of hurt Stiles was already feeling.

 

“How dare you show your face here! Where have you been? Like seriously Derek. What the fuck! You think it’s acceptable to just leave for months and magically come back!” Scott was losing it. “You’re the alpha! Shittiest alpha ever! You should have stayed gone! Nobody actually needs you anymore.”

 

“Ok Scott that’s enough”, Stiles stepped in. Yeah he was hurt but Derek was back. Derek came back. He didn’t want Scott chasing him away.

 

“Look Scott can we rain-check our gaming plans?”, Stiles asked.   
  
“You want me to leave you alone with him?”, Scott replied while looking at Derek in disgust.  

 

“He’s not going to eat me or anything! Come on, I’ll be fine. I just need to hear what he has to say.”

 

All the while Derek just stood in between them, shoulders slouched and still refusing to look at Stiles.  

 

Scott gave Derek a death look, nodded at Stiles and left. 

 

Stiles stepped aside and gestured for Derek to come in.

 

 

 

The alpha stood inside the small room, afraid. He was afraid that he might say the wrong thing, that nothing he could say would get Stiles to forgive his impulse action of leaving, that he might have to go back to that stupid little cabin in the middle of nowhere and continue being alone for the rest of his life.

 

Stiles positioned himself in front of Derek, back straight and arms crossed over his chest.

 

Since Derek had left all he had wanted was for the man he loved to come back into his life. In his mind, he had explored countless scenarios of what might happen if Derek ever came back. Anything from running into each others arms and making passionate love to sitting down over a cup of coffee and patiently talking it out had been imagined at length.

 

However, now that that moment had finally arrived he felt he deserved an explanation. For the first time he felt angry. He had been too worried to let himself be mad and now that he had clear physical proof that Derek was alive, the emotion just took over.

 

“You left me”, he started yelling since clearly Derek wasn’t going to be saying anything any time soon, “You just left me! I thought you loved me but how could you if you can leave just like that without even leaving a note or something, anything! Do you know how worried I’ve been? You could have been dead somewhere I wouldn’t have known! Or you could have been happy with someone else laughing at how you left poor old Stiles behind! You know how my mind is. You can’t even begin to imagine all the things that popped up in there, what I pictured you might be doing, what could have happened, what possible reasons you would have had to disappear.”

 

Stiles started pacing back and forth, arms flailing about. “I just don’t get it. I don’t. How could you? Why? Do I even want to know? And then you just come back. Just like that you’re standing in my stupid room, not even looking at me. What do you expect is going to happen now? And don’t even get me started on leaving your pack!”

 

Stiles was starting to hyperventilate. He stopped pacing, closed his eyes and attempted to take deep breaths. He felt large warm hands grab hold of each shoulder. He concentrated on their warmth and the slight pressure they were applying.

 

He opened his eyes to find that Derek had finally decided to look at him.

 

Derek never let go of the hold he had on Stiles’ shoulder.

 

They continued to look at each other through heavy silence.

 

And then Stiles broke. Just broke. It was too much. He got out of Derek’s hold and flung his arms around his neck, nuzzling his head in his shoulder and tried really, really hard not to cry.

 

Derek gasped, closed his eyes and returned the embrace. Leaning his head against Stiles and wrapping his arms around his waist holding him close. He inhaled. No words could describe how much he had missed the way Stiles smelled. He loved it but at the same time there was now a sadness mixed in with the scent that shattered his already broken heart.

 

What had he done? He knew he could trust Stiles and that Stiles loved him but at the first trace of possible deceit Derek gave up. And it had all been in his head. Stiles didn’t deserve to be hurt like that. What words could Derek possibly say to ever make everything right again?

 

“Derek”, Stiles mumbled into Derek’s collarbone, having no intention to move, “I still love you. I shouldn’t. But I do.”

 

“I love you too”, Derek finally spoke, “I know saying that I’m sorry really won’t fix anything but I am. I just…I made a mistake…”

 

“Why Derek? Why did you leave?”

 

“It was a misunderstanding…it’s not important.”

 

Stiles unglued his face from Derek to look at him. “But it is. We need to talk about it Derek. I need to know. You left me! I want to trust you again but we need to talk first.”

 

Derek was pretty sure a magical creature was now taking a hammer to his shattered heart to turn the rest of it to dust.

 

He had hurt Stiles.

 

He took a deep breath, fought through his shame and admitted “I thought you were cheating on me.”

 

“What? Why? How? That’s ridiculous! I thought you trusted me? I mean I know you have serious trust issues but…it’s me…” Stiles replied, confused.

 

“I know. My mind just made things up and I … I screwed up.”

 

Stiles went back to nuzzling his head into the crook of Derek’s neck. Feeling the hard muscle underneath him was comforting.

 

“Are we…are we going to be ok?”, Derek whispered, petrified of what the answer might be.

 

“Do you want us to be?”

 

“Yes”

 

“I want to be with you but it’s not like things can just go back to how they were. You need to start talking to me. We need to talk this through. I know talking isn’t your favourite thing to do but…” Having to fight back some more tears Stiles didn’t finish his sentence. This was emotionally draining him. 

 

“Then we’ll talk. Anything to fix us, I’ll do it”, Derek replied.

 

They stood there in silence for a few minutes. Derek was holding on tight. Stiles was just letting himself be supported by Derek’s body.

 

 “Eventually…do you think we’ll be ok?” Derek broke the silence to ask. He had to know whether or not Stiles felt like they could be together again.

 

“Eventually”, was all Stiles replied, too tired to go into more details at this point. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to be with anyone else. He was Derek’s and Derek was his. Derek had come back. One day they would be able to laugh about this and tell their beautiful adopted kids (which Stiles had already secretly picked out names for) how stupid daddy Derek had been. They just needed to take the time to heal first.

 

“I need a nap”, Stiles mumbled.

 

“Do you…should I leave?” Derek questioned.

 

“No”, Stiles replied, backing away from Derek but taking hold of his hand, “I think I’ve had enough of you being gone to last me a lifetime.”

 

“Ok I’ll just um read a book”

 

“Well…you could just…I mean you don’t have to sleep…but would you maybe just hold me while I nap?”, Stiles felt himself blush, “I just need to feel you near me.”

 

Derek cupped Stiles’ face with one hand, rubbing his thumb against the pale skin of Stiles’ cheek. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to show him that he was there, that he would never leave again but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed yet so he just gave a soft nod indicating that he would definitely hold Stiles.

 

Never letting go of Derek’s hand, Stiles made his way to his bed. He crawled under the covers and was joined by Derek. They slowly found their way into a comfortable position. Derek lied on his back, arms wrapped around the younger man who was sprawled half on top of him. Stiles used Derek’s chest as a pillow, content on feeling it rise and fall. He fell asleep to the reassuring beat of his heart, proof that this wasn’t a dream, that they would be ok.

 

The fact that Stiles was able to go back to being a spread out pile of limbs on top of him made Derek smile. This is where he was supposed to be, lying under this awkward, uncoordinated, annoying man that was the love of his life.


End file.
